The Final Years
by catcanwrite
Summary: James is still hung up on Lily, but, frustratingly, somehow every single Marauder seems to be managing to befriend her before him. Sixth/seventh year.
1. Chapter 1

Christmas was an eventful occasion in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. As he had for the past five years, on December 25th of 1976 Sirius Black took it upon himself to ensure that his roommates were suitably in the Christmas spirit.

"Merry Christmas boys!" He shouted gleefully, scattering shreds of a torn up old Charms assignment around the room like confetti.

James groaned and rolled over, Remus did nothing to acknowledge his friend's exasperating cheer. Peter, however, vocalised his frustration.

"What bloody time is it?" He said, lifting his head only so he could properly glare at Sirius.

"A quarter to six," Sirius announced cheerfully. "Of course, I was going to wake you fifteen minutes ago, but then I remembered Remus' request for a sleep in this year. Of course, that was your Christmas present, so I'm afraid I haven't gotten you anything else this year, Moony. I hope it was worth it."

Remus muttered an unintelligible response.

"That's the spirit! Now, get up. As per our little tradition, we each take turns opening all of our presents. And, once again, I'm opening mine first, as I'm the only one who cared enough to wake you all."

"Sirius," James said, sitting up and reaching for his glasses. "You're seventeen years old."

"Astute observation Prongs! If you could be a dear and stop showing off your brilliant brainpower for ten seconds and actually _get out of bed_, that would be simply marvellous."

"Don't you think seventeen's a little too old to be getting this excited about Christmas?"

Sirius held his hand to his heart. "Prongs! How dare you!"

"Here he goes," muttered Remus to Peter, who snorted in response.

"Have you forgotten what this holiday means to us Marauders? When we were all innocent little first years, do you remember why I persuaded you all to stay in Hogwarts for the holidays?"

"Because there was less supervision around over the Christmas holidays and you were convinced that we could find the Chamber of Secrets if we were left alone for long enough?" Asked James.

"_Precisely_." Sirius smirked. "And you know what lads? We failed. We failed catastrophically. _But the point is, _that was when we became a gang. That was when named ourselves the Marauders. That was when we discovered our first secret passage and snuck into Hogsmeade two years before anyone else in this year had ever been. And from then on, _we decided_, as friends- nay, as a _family_- to always spend our Christmases together. And that's why this holiday will always hold such a dear place in my heart."

"Fair enough," said Remus. "But why do you have to get us up so bloody early?"

"So we can open all of our presents and still have time to go and steal some mistletoe from the Great Hall. I think I have a real shot with Kathy Lu this year. _Excellent,_" he added, "you're all out of bed. That means I can finally start opening my Christmas presents."

"You do realise that we could all open our presents at the same time, yes?" Peter asked.

"Tradition, Peter, _tradition._"

They all had a fairly good haul. Sirius received Honeydukes chocolate from Peter, a box of Zonko's goodies from Remus, several Playboy and motorbike enthusiast magazines from James- _"Merlin, _I love Muggle publications"- and a homemade chocolate cake from Mrs Potter. As well as getting his own chocolate cake, James mainly got given Quidditch supplies and things from Zonko's, while Peter's pile of gifts consisted almost entirely of the edible. Finally, Remus had almost opened his last present, which, despite what had been said earlier, was from Sirius.

"A Muggle book on werewolves," he said, grinning. "Brilliant. Thanks mate."

"No problem," said Sirius. "Did you know that if a werewolf comes into contact with silver he will shatter into ten thousand pieces? Page 32. Also, you can't age, so I hope you enjoy looking like a scrawny sixteen year old git forever."

"You lot want to go downstairs and get breakfast?" Suggested Peter, ignoring the book that was chucked at Sirius' head.

"Hold on," said James. "Moony's still got one left."

Sure enough, a small, strangely shaped, wrapped package was sitting at the foot of Remus' bed.

"Oh, that." Remus said quickly. "That's nothing. I mean, I know what that is. I mean, I'll open it later."

"What are you on about?" Asked Sirius.

"I'll open it this afternoon. You know, savouring it and all that. I agree with Peter, we should go to the Hall."

"Nonsense!" Sirius declared. "No man shall leave this room until each and every present has been opened. Christmas rule."

"What is that rule? That's a stupid rule. Let's just go eat," Remus said hastily, making for the door, but being blocked by a scowling Sirius.

"Well, I'm starving," James declared, "so if you don't mind Remus-."

Ignoring his friend's protests, he unwrapped the present in a single tear. Out of the shiny red wrapping paper and onto the floor poured a thousand small, circular, chocolates.

"What in Merlin's name are these?" James demanded.

"Hold on," Peter said. "I know these. These are Smarties. They're Muggle sweets; my Dad eats them sometimes."

"Who's sending you Muggle sweets?" James demanded.

"I think the more important question is, what sort of a Muggle would make chocolate into such an inconvenience? These'll take fucking _days _to properly clean up."

"Actually, Padfoot, generally they come in a proper packet and aren't just-."

James waved Peter's corrections off. "Who're they from?"

"Er." Remus said. "No idea! Isn't that strange? Who would send me that? Mental if you ask me. Now, about breakfast-."

"There's a card," pointed out Sirius.

James picked it up at read out loud:

_Remus,_

_I told you I'd do it. You're lucky I'm good at charms, or they all would have melted by now. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!_

_Lily._

"Lily…" James trailed off thoughtfully.

"Oh Christ," Sirius muttered, staring daggers at a sheepish looking Lupin.

"Not…_Lily Evans_!?" James exclaimed, so loudly that Peter, who was standing next to him, winced.

"Um, well. Yeah."

"Merlin's beard, Moony, when did you start getting Christmas presents from _Lily Evans_?"

"We've been Prefects together for over a year, James. You knew we were mates."

"No, I knew you _talked_." James said excitedly. "I knew she was civil to you, but I never knew you were _mates. _Why'd you never tell me you were mates with Lily Evans?"

"Because, Prongs, I knew you'd act exactly like this!" Remus exploded. "You'd finally stopped asking her out every second week after The Snape Incident- something which she found bloody _annoying _anyway- and I knew you'd only see this as another way to get her to go out with you!"

James didn't seem to notice Lupin's anger. "This is perfect, Moony. You can be my man on the inside. You can talk me up to her, and you can find out what she thinks of me. Also, you can find out stuff that I'm doing wrong. Stuff like her not liking it when I kept asking her out, that's the kind of stuff I really need to know."

"Really? Couldn't have figured that one out on your own?" Peter muttered, making Sirius snicker.

"For God's sake, _no. _I am not jeopardising this friendship just so Lily will go out with your sorry arse, something which I'm not convinced will ever happen."

"_Please_ Moony?" James begged. "I've changed since last year, you know I have. I know I was a bit of an idiot then-"

"A bit?"

"- I shouldn't have bothered her all the time, and I suppose I shouldn't have attacked Snivellus quite as much as I did. I know that now. _You _all know I've changed, can't you just help me prove it to her?"

There was a long pause.

"C'mon mate," Sirius said. "Help a brother out. Besides, he'll never let this go until you agree."

"_Fine._" Remus fumed. "I'll ask her about you once- _once- _to see if her opinions on you have changed."

"_And _you'll chuck in a few nice things about me?" James pressed.

"Only if I think the nice things are true."

"Moony," James grinned. "You're the best. Have I ever told you that you're the best?"

"Not as often as I deserve."

James laughed and clapped him on the back. And together, the Marauders departed from their bedroom, three of them exasperated, one of them hopeful.

"By the way, Remus," said James conversationally, "what were the Smarties all about?"

"Well, I s'pose we sort of have this inside joke-"

"_You _have inside jokes with _Lily Evans_!?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Wow, this was a faster update then I expected. It's probably since I'm new to fanfiction and was just really eager to keep going. You can probably expect me to be remarkably inconsistent with updates, just knowing me. **_

_**Like I said, I'm entirely new to fanfiction, so reviews would be very much appreciated. Thank you to those who have already favourited/reviewed/followed.**_

_**And Happy New Year!**_

It was a bleak Christmas in the Evans household. When the only two children of the house were in the middle of a longstanding feud and had scarcely spoken to each other since 1972, how could it have gone any other way?

Still, Mrs Evans tried her hardest. "Good morning Lil Pill!" She said cheerfully as her youngest daughter trudged down the stairs. "I made Tuney and Dad wait for you to start opening presents. And after that, we'll make pancakes, yeah?"

It was fairly obvious to everyone that Mrs Evans was desperate for a family reconciliation. She was bringing up old nicknames that hadn't been used in years, she was making pancakes, and she wore a tight smile that appeared to be in grave danger of sliding off her face. Lily decided to humour her.

"Good morning mum!" She said, with a level of fake enthusiasm that almost equalled her mothers. "Thanks so much, I appreciate it. Where are Dad and… Petunia?"

"In the living room. They'll be thrilled you're down."

However, when they trundled into the living room, it was clear that not everyone was as happy as her mother insisted. When she saw her younger sister, Petunia sniffed and moved her gaze to Lily's right.

"Merry Christmas, Tuney," Lily said, praying that her sister would have enough compassion for her mother to answer her back.

"Good morning, Lily," Petunia said stiffly. It wasn't a 'Merry Christmas', but it was something, Lily supposed.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," Mr Evans said, breaking the tension that was quickly forming in the room. "Sweet dreams?"

"The sweetest," Lily grinned. It wasn't a lie, either. She had dreamed of Hogwarts, as she had every night since returning to Cokeworth for the Christmas holidays.

"I'm sure you girls are dying to open your presents!"

Well, Lily couldn't speak for Petunia, but she knew she wasn't. She had a pile of gifts from her school friends upstairs that were still unopened, but the only presents for her under the Christmas tree were from her parents and her sister. She didn't even want to know what her sister had gotten for her, and as for her parents, well…As much as she loved them, and she knew they loved her, since she'd gone off to Hogwarts, they just didn't really _know _her anymore. It was a thing to be expected, Professor McGonagall had warned the Muggleborn witches and wizards at the start of their first year, that they would feel as if they were growing distant from their families as they immersed themselves in the wizarding world. But eleven year old Lily couldn't comprehend ever feeling distant from her parents, who were the most important people in her life. She was even optimistic that Petunia would forgive her and things would go back to the way they were. But now, she wasn't sure if things could ever go back to the way they were.

She couldn't say any of this out loud, however. "You bet!"

While they opened their gifts, Mr and Mrs Evans tried desperately to keep the chatter alive.

"So, Tuney, how's that clerical job going?"

"_Wonderful, _Dad," Petunia gushed. "And I've met this really amazing guy there too, his name's Vernon, and things are really on the verge of getting serious. He-."

"That's absolutely wonderful, dear!" Mrs Evans exclaimed. "Lily, any man in your life?"

Lily noticed how her sister's shoulders slumped as her mother cut her story off. She felt a twinge of guilt, and then brushed it off.

"Sadly, no. I'm as single as a person could possibly be," Lily said, not entirely sure if she was lying. While it was true that she didn't have a _boyfriend _as such, there was certainly something on the horizon. Since the start of the school year, she'd become increasingly close with Anthony Frawley, the Ravenclaw prefect. She suspected he liked her as more than a friend, and her friends were fully encouraging of their relationship- Mary MacDonald had advised her to "jump on the Tony Train before somebody else did". But, there was nothing of interest to report yet, and she didn't want to seem like she was trying to compete with Tuney.

"Figures," muttered Petunia, too quietly for her parents to hear. A comment like that would probably have upset Lily a few years ago- or at least made her blush with anger- but now she'd gotten sort of numb to her sister's jabs.

The family forced chatter for a few hours, and then took one of the most uncomfortable Christmas photos in the history of Christmas photos on the couch. In previous years, they'd gone to their grandmother's house for lunch, however, she'd become too ill to host. So, they ate their Christmas lunch in the house, meaning they all had to endure the uncomfortable tension throughout the entire day.

Lily hated this. She felt horrendously ungracious to think it, but she did. She _hated _it. She wished she could have stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas, with Mary and Debbie Johnson. She'd done that, once in fourth year, and it had been the best Christmas she'd had since before Petunia had started hating her guts. Despite the somewhat irritating presence of the Marauders- and one Marauder in particular- she'd had a great time with her friends. In fact, she'd had her first kiss over those holidays, with Amos Diggory, who was a whole year older than her- an age gap that seemed huge and incredibly exciting back then. But she never could forget how hurt her mother had sounded when she replied to Lily's letter informing her of her decision to stay at the castle. And she could never hurt her mother like that again. Merlin, it was incredibly tiring, trying to please your Muggle family and pursue a wizarding career at the same time.

Finally, in the early evening, Lily decided that surely it would no longer be considered rude to retire to her bedroom and open her other presents. She sat on her bed, and eagerly tore open the first gift- a Beatles record from Mary. Mary was the only one in her group of friends with a Muggle parent, so she was the only one that really understood what she was talking about when she brought up Muggle cultural icons. Perhaps this common ground was why they'd become such fast friends. Mary was the first real friend she'd made at Hogwarts- after Sev, of course… but she didn't really like to think of Severus anymore. Luckily, he hadn't returned to Spinner's End for Christmas. She supposed that even his romantic infatuation with her- and yes, she'd had to accept that he did have feelings for her when he started with the desperate love poetry after she'd officially ended their friendship- wasn't enough to make him return to his horrible father, which was fair enough.

She opened the letter that came with Mary's gift, eager to hear from her best friend.

_DEAR LIL_- it began-,

_How're you? Miserable without me? Or have you finally reconciled with your Muggle sister? Ha, don't answer that question. I'm not an idiot, I know you told me that would never happen in a million years._

_The castle is SO MUCH FUN this time of year, Lil. Why didn't you stay? Oh right, I know why. You didn't want to hurt your mum's feelings or something. And I get that, but at the same time, I think you must be MENTAL, because Sirius Black is hosting a huge New Year's party in the Room of Requirement and YOU'LL have to sit at home miserable while I'm getting sloshed and snogging Adrian Jones (in other news, I really fancy Adrian Jones now). And you can bitch and moan all you want about Marauder parties, Lil, but you won't fool ME for one single second, because you and I both know they're always so much FUN!_

_Merry Christmas Lily! And a Happy New Year (although how 'happy' your New Year can be when you're not snogging Adrian Jones at Sirius' Black's party is questionable. But do your best.) I miss you and Marlene so so so much._

_LOTS OF LOVE,_

_Mary xxxx_

_PS Deb just came over and panicked because she hasn't even thought about STARTING writing her letter to you yet. TYPICAL. It's obvious who the better friend is here, Lil. Seriously._

_PPS AND Anthony Frawley's at Hogwarts this Christmas! Bet you're feeling sorry now! Ha, somebody's going to have to wait before jumping on the Tony Train._

Lily grinned. She missed her Hogwarts friends like mad. Given how happy hearing from Mary had made her, she decided to read her cards and letters before opening the remainder of her gifts, starting with the one from Debbie.

_Dear Lily,_

_Hi! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope your sister isn't giving you too much strife. Mary and I both miss you to pieces._

_Love,_

_Deb._

_PS IN SPITE of what our DELUSIONAL friend Mary might be insisting, I did not panic, and I had not FORGOTTEN about your letter. I just hadn't gotten around to it yet, but I would have, I SWEAR._

Then there was Marlene's:

_Dear Lil,_

_Merry Christmas! How are things? Merlin, don't you just miss Hogwarts? Last year I didn't, because I was in Italy, but this year I'm stuck in bloody Dundee, which is absolute shite. At least I have my brother, but unfortunately he's gone and gotten himself a holiday girlfriend- randy little bugger- and won't stop going over to her house to snog her. It's SO frustrating, I'm so jealous of Deb and Mary._

_Missing you,_

_Marlene._

And then there was the letter from Anthony that made her smile like an idiot.

_Hey Lily!_

_Merry Christmas! I was so disappointed when Mary told me that you wouldn't be staying at Hogwarts, but wherever you are, I hope you have a spectacular break. I assume you're with your family, what are they like? I hope they're nice. If they're anything like you they'd have to be. _

_See you next term._

_Love, _(!)

_Anthony._

Those were the letters with the most sustenance, but there were several shorter cards and letters, from people like Emmeline and Remus. There was even one from Hagrid, which was a pleasant surprise. She read them all and replied to most of them before even beginning to open the rest of her presents, which she did slowly and methodically, one by one. By about one in the morning, she was completely finished. She cleared the gifts off of her bed and tucked herself in. But before she could even close her eyes, she heard a tapping on her window. Sure enough, when she looked outside, there was a small, brown owl, trying to fight its way in through the glass barrier.

"Idiot," Lily muttered, going to open it so the small bird could enter. Merlin, though, she recognised that bird. She hoped she was wrong, but sure enough-

_Dear Lily, _she read out loud.

_Merry Christmas! Have a good one._

_James Potter x_

Oh Merlin. What was his _problem? _Who the hell gave him her address? And how, she asked herself as she opened the gift, did he know her favourite flavour of Honeydukes fudge?

James Potter was somebody that confused her quite a bit. Slow as she was, she'd cottoned on to his non-platonic feelings towards her in fifth year, when he took to asking her out every five fucking seconds. But she had despised him then. And _not, _as her friends seemed to insist, because of Severus, although that was a part of it. She disliked him because he was arrogant, rude, and ridiculously entitled. And he just couldn't leave her well alone.

Since the Snape Incident, he'd at least had the decency to stop asking her out. In fact, they'd more or less stopped talking all together, but she'd heard enough from Remus to assume that he still fancied her. She couldn't honestly say she actively hated him the way she'd done the year before, but that was only because she didn't even have a reason to spare him a second thought these days. And now, here he was, sending her bloody _chocolates _to her fucking _house. _Just when you thought he was gone for good.

Although, the letter did seem really casual for him. A right change from his old self. _Merlin, _this bloke was confusing.

She crumpled up the letter and threw it on the floor, amongst the torn up wrapping paper. But, she reasoned to herself, taking a bite, her immense dislike of Potter was no reason to turn down perfectly good fudge.


	3. Chapter 3

_31__st__ of December, 1976_

"I'm excited, lads. Are you excited?"

"Yes, Sirius," Remus sighed. "For the millionth time, I am absolutely thrilled at the idea of bringing in the New Year by watching you and James getting plastered and snogging some random birds that you'll probably never see again."

"Hey!" Peter protested. "Why do you assume that I won't be getting plastered and snogging random birds?"

"He assumes, Peter," said Sirius, "because the last time you so much as properly spoke to a girl was in third year, when you were partnered with Gracie Hawkins in Transfiguration. And anyway," he continued, ignoring Peter's squeaks of indignation, "I wouldn't be so pessimistic, Moony. This is the age where girls are supposed to want to rebel. And what better way to rebel than getting down and dirty with a werewolf?"

"If you ever use the expression 'down and dirty' again," warned James, "I am going to have to strangle you."

"And besides," added Remus, "you're forgetting the rather glaringly obvious fact that _no one else knows I'm a werewolf._"

"Well, that's when your natural rugged good looks come in."

They continued with their banter for a while before Sirius turned to Peter and asked,

"Wormtail, be a darling and sneak to Hogsmeade to get the Firewhiskey with me?"

Peter groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Absolutely."

"Why?"

"Because, dear Wormtail, I can't go alone because I have crippling abandonment issues. Remus won't come with me because he's still scared of losing his Prefect badge, and no one in their right mind would trust me and James to go Hogsmeade alone and stay on task. That leaves you."

"_Fine," _Peter huffed. Sirius grinned and practically skipped outside, Peter trudged defeatedly behind him.

"Should we start looking for some music? For tonight?" Remus suggested.

"Sure," James said, standing up. "I'm pretty sure we had a _Merlin and the Spectaculars _record somewhere on the shelf over here.

"And by the way," Remus said conversationally. "I was lying before when I said that I was expecting you to end up getting with somebody tonight. I know for a fact that you won't be."

James froze. _Shit. _

However, James Potter was an expert in playing it cool. "You think I've lost my touch? I am hurt and offended. However, I _was_ wondering how you'd so effortlessly resisted jumping my bones the second Padfoot and Wormtail left the room."

Remus laughed appreciatively. "I don't know about your 'touch', but I do know that you haven't so much as snogged anyone since The Snape Incident last year."

"What are you talking about?" James protested. "I have so- Celina Roberts, Rosetta Parkinson, that bird I met in Hogsmeade-"

"Let's see, you went on one date with Celina and came home two hours early, your alleged snog session with Parkinson happened at a party that all four of us were too drunk to properly remember, and I'm 90% sure that the infamous Hogsmeade Girl is fictional."

James sighed. "Look, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I think you like Evans more than you want people to think that you do."

"C'mon, mate," James laughed. "I haven't exactly been subtle about that-."

"No, but you like her in a different way than you used to. Look, you've fancied her since third year, but until The Snape Incident you had no qualms about snogging every girl in sight. But since that day, not only have you stopped preying on Snivellus- well, for the most part-, but you haven't seriously looked at another girl. And don't even try to tell me that this is some ruse to make Lily realise that you've changed, because you've made no effort to tell her about your apparent abstinence. So what gives?"

"Mate, c'mon, this is ridic-"

"You tried to speak to her the Incident," Remus said thoughtfully. "But you told us she told you to go and fuck yourself. What _actually _happened?"

_"Lily, wait-."_

_"Leave me alone, you arrogant prick!"_

_"Can you just let me talk to you for-."_

_"No!" She snapped. "In case you haven't notice, Potter, I'm not having the best day, and you're 40% accountable for that."_

_"That means I'm 60% in the clear," James smirked. "Now Evans-."_

_"Oh my God, just shut up!" She yelled. "Shut up you idiot! Why does every single stupid, fucking word that comes out your mouth have to be some bullshit line!? Why can't you just say real _things_!? Why can't you just piss the fuck off and leave me alone?"_

_Used to Lily's attacks as he was, James was taken aback. There was more than just anger behind her words here._

_"Lily," he said, trying to convey that he was being as genuine as he knew how to be. "Are you okay?"_

_She glared at him. "No, I'm not fucking okay! Not only did I just lose my best friend, but now the boy that's made his life a misery for his entire schooling career is trying to chat me up when all I want to do is lock myself in my room."_

_"I'm not here to chat you up," James said defensively._

_"No? Then what are you here for? That's all you ever wanted from me, right? The chance to get in my pants? You're fucking pathetic. You're absolute scum, Potter. And what kills me is that nobody else can see what a phony you are, just because of your fucking pureblood status and above average Quidditch skills."_

_Lily was trying to genuinely hurt him, he realised. When she normally insulted him, it was just out of blind anger, but now she was deliberately trying to say things that would cut deep._

_"Evans, I-." He swallowed. "I'm sorry, I am. And I'll leave you alone after this. But I just wanted to let you know that Sniv- I mean Severus- didn't deserve you a bit. It's his loss, you're better off without him."_

_She laughed humourlessly. "You just don't _get _it, do you? You think you're so much better than him, but really you're just the same. You're both just a pair of bullying toerags."_

_"I'm not like Snivellus."_

_"No?"_

_"I'm- I'm really not as much of an asshole to most people as I am to Severus and his gang. But that's only because they're evil. Really truly evil. Everyone knows that they're just Death Eaters in training, and it kills me that you could never see that!" _

_Lily turned to look at him. Her gaze was cold and dead, but James could see the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. He had never seen Lily Evans cry before. _

_"Yeah, well, I see it now, okay? I always knew really. It's just that-." Her voice wavered, and, before he knew it, somehow she ended up pressed up against him, sobbing into his shoulder. Utterly unsure of how he was supposed to react to this unexpected turn of events, he in turn wrapped his arms around her. This simple action seemed to bring Lily to her senses, and she pulled away with a start._

_"_Don't _think this changes anything, Potter," she said warningly, and she turned and fled._

'Don't think this changes anything.' _That sentence kept playing over and over in his head. Well, it was all very well and good for her to say that, but it did change everything for James. That was the moment that he realised that he was in love with Lily Evans. And there was no turning back._

"What do you mean what happened? Exactly what I told you! Is there no trust in this friendship anymore?"

"Have it your way," snapped Remus. "But I want you to know how shitty it is that you spend hours begging me for her address and her favourite flavour of fudge and make me use my friendship with her for your own personal gain, and then you won't even tell me where you're at with her."

James felt a wave of guilt come over him. "Moony-."

"Look, just forget it, okay?" He muttered. James could do nothing but watch him leave the dormitory.

"This party's absolutely insane!" Jacob McLaggen yelled over the music. As much as James hated to agree with anything that pompous git to say, McLaggen was right. Every single Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor still in the castle from fourth year and up had shown up, something which Sirius clearly had not anticipated when he decided to visualise the size of the room. There was barely enough space to move, and James felt like he was dancing far closer to Jacob than should have been necessary. He shouted something to McLaggen about getting a drink, and pushed past the crowds of people off the makeshift dance floor.

"James!" A female voice called out. Turning around, he saw a worried looking Alice Stewart, shoving a group of fifth years aside in an effort to get to him.

"Hey Alice, what's going on?"

"James, I'm worried about Sirius. He, well-."

Alice gestured to the drinks table. Or, what was supposed to be the drinks table. Sirius, however, had apparently decided to use the surface, as his own, personal, dance floor. His shirt had been ripped off, and a small crowd was gathering around him. Sirius was laughing and yelling out to them. James couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, but it was obvious that he was absolutely piss drunk.

"He's just having fun," James said, waving her off. "You know how he is."

"Yeah, I know," Alice said, biting her lip. "But I think he's worse than usual. He tried to snog me just before."

This did seem odd. Alice and Frank Longbottom, the current Head Boy, had been going out since third year. Every boy in the school knew that Alice was completely off limits. Even Sirius, as ridiculous as Sirius was, would respect that.

Still, James tried to remain optimistic. "He's obviously just had a few too many then. Let's just leave him be."

"I guess that you would know him better," Alice said hesitantly. "But still, could you just get him down from the table and sweep up all the glass from those Firewhiskey bottle's he's knocked over? I don't want someone to get hurt.

"Sure. Hey, how about you go get Remus to get him down and I'll go get something to clear up the glass? Sirius will just tell me to piss off if I try to help him, but Remus can manage to talk anyone into anything using his powers of infuriating sensibility and logic."

Alice agreed and went off in search of Lupin. James figured the easiest way to get his hands on a broom would be to just ask the Room of Requirement for one, so he struggled past the legions of drunken teenagers to the door.

He paced up and down the corridor three times. _I need a broom cupboard. A broom cupboard. A broom cupboard. _A brown door appeared on the wall, and James yanked it open. However, he was distracted in his broom-fetching mission by the two girls leaning up against the cupboard wall. Their bodies were completely intertwined and their lips were pressed fiercely up against each other. Upon hearing James, they quickly pulled away from each other. One of the girls James didn't recognised, but she was uncommonly short and looked up at him with mild amusement. But the other girl, James realised, was Debbie Johnson, one of Lily Evan's best friend. Unlike the girl she'd just been snogging, Debbie didn't look like she found this funny at all, she just looked horrified.

"Er." James said. "Sorry, didn't mean to disturb." Quickly, he closed the door and started pacing again. _I need the room where Sirius' party is. I need the room where Sirius Black is throwing a party. _

"James!" Called out a very drunk Mary McDonald as soon as he re-entered. "Sirius is _mental_!"

"What?"

"He's tryna bash McLaggen!" She screamed, teetering on her heels and clutching onto Adrian Jones, the Ravenclaw Quidditch player, for support.

James followed the gazes of everyone in the room to a clearing in the middle of where people had been dancing before. There stood a very confused looking McLaggen, being circled by a very foolish looking Sirius.

"I'll fightcha. Don't think I won't fightcha."

"Mate, calm down. You don't even have a wand. Just relax."

"Dunneed a wand. I'll bash ya."

What happened next seemed to go by in a blur. Sirius took a drunken lunge at Jacob, who grabbed his wand that had been previously been concealed under his jacket. Looking panicked, McLaggen blindly waved it at him, and several red sparks shot out and settled into Sirius' chest. Several people screamed out in terror as he hit the ground.

"What the hell did you do, McLaggen?" Shouted Remus as he and Peter pushed their way to the front of the crowd.

"He was trying to attack me!" Jacob said defensively.

"He was drunk and unarmed!" James snapped as he joined Remus and Peter. "What the hell did you think he was going to do?"

"I panicked, alright?" Jacob said, looking wildly around for someone who would stick up for him. But Sirius was infinitely more liked than McLaggen, so his pleas were met with nothing but angry glares.

"He's not moving," said Peter worriedly, kneeling by his friend's side.

"We have to get one of the professors," Remus said. Disapproving mutterings were echoed throughout the hall.

"We can't just bring them here, they'll know we know about the Come and Go room!" McLaggen protested. "Not only that, but they'll know we've all been drinking. You know how strict they are about that."

"Are you serious?" Remus demanded. "You do this to my best friend, then have the fucking nerve to think about saving your own skin?"

"Can't we just magic up a stretcher and send him up to the hospital wing?" Jacob suggested desperately.

"He's right," said Anthony Frawley, a Ravenclaw that James knew very little about but immediately decided that he disliked. "That way he's safe and none of us take the fall."

"And what," James snapped, "do you'll think they'll say about the fact that Sirius has apparently gotten himself absolutely bladdered all on his own? He's been punished enough, thanks to McLaggen, he doesn't need to take the fall for all of us. The more of us they catch, the less we'll get in trouble. And besides, does anyone here want to be the one who risks moving him?"

Silence.

"That's what I thought. Moony, you go get Pomfrey, I'll stay here with Padfoot. And," he added, somewhat reluctantly, "anyone that's _absolutely _smashed- Mary McDonald, looking at you- Peter will take you to your dorm. But hurry up before the professors are alerted."

_Bong! Bong! Bong!_

The clock chimed twelve.

"Happy new year to me," James muttered. "Happy bloody New Year."


	4. Chapter 4

"Any luck?" James asked as Remus entered the room.

"Nope," he said, flopping himself down on Peter's bed. "Pomfrey's still not letting anyone see him. I even tried guilting her with the whole 'I'm-a-tortured-teen-werewolf' act. She didn't buy it."

"Damn," James muttered, ruffling up his hair, a nervous habit of his. "Although I am impressed that Prefect Lupin is finally using his tortured-teen-werewolf status to his own advantage."

Remus chuckled once, before allowing the room to fall into a comfortable silence.

"Moony?" James asked eventually.

Remus, who looked on the verge of falling asleep, opened one eye. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you think it was?"

Both of them knew what he meant.

"I think I might know why," Remus said hesitantly. "Although I'm not sure if you should-."

"Please," was all James had to say. And, for Remus, that was enough.

"Okay. Well, I didn't want to tell you before, because I was still mad at you about- y'know, the whole Evans debacle, but Sirius got a letter."

"A letter?"

"From Regulus."

James, once more, was left with only one word to say. "_Fuck._"

It had been almost six months since Sirius had run away from home. Even the Marauders, who were the only people Sirius had ever really been able to trust, knew very little about his home life. The only thing he had ever actually told them about his parents was that his mother was a cow. Obviously, the Blacks were well known for their pureblood drivel, and James, Remus and Peter had guessed that his parents were abusive, if not physically than at least psychologically. And that was really all they knew, until third year, when Regulus Black began his first year at Hogwarts. James could still remember how Sirius' jaw had clenched when the Sorting Hat had announced his only brother into Slytherin. The Black boys had little interaction to no interaction at Hogwarts, many were surprised to find out that they were even related. The only time James had even heard Sirius use Regulus' _name _was in fourth year.

_"Padfoot, what the hell-."_

_"Sod off, Potter. Leave me alone."_

_"You can't just storm off the second your feet touch the ground. It's only your second day as beater, and the team already thinks you have anger management issues."_

_"So?"_

_"So I was the one who recommended you, and now they all think that I must be a total nutter-."_

_"Because it's _always _about you, right Prongs?" Sirius sneered. "Never mind your best mate's upset, no, Jamesey's precious _Quidditch _team might not think he's so brilliant anymore."_

_"Hey," James said, startled. "Calm down."_

_A brief silence._

_"I know what this is about."_

_"Well, aren't you clever?"_

_"I heard what Shelly Brown told you about- about Regulus. About him being Seeker."_

_"Oh, not only is he Seeker. No, he's Slytherin's youngest _ever _Seeker, and apparently he's shaping up to be their best one in a decade."_

_"So, that's all this is?" James said, disbelieving. "Sibling rivalry?"_

_"No, _all this is _is that I can't even start some stupid sport without my brother doing it too, and doing it better than me, and of course doing it the pureblood way, and making dear mummy proud-." Sirius stopped, breathing heavily. "Look, let's stop talking about Regulus, okay?"_

_There was a long pause. James considered putting his arm around Sirius, or some other friendly gesture, but he knew that wasn't what Sirius wanted._

_"Quidditch isn't stupid."_

_Sirius blinked at him. "What?"_

_"You called Quidditch a stupid sport. It's not."_

_Sirius grinned. "It is a _little _bit stupid, you have to admit-."_

_And so they were back to rambling on about something that didn't really concern either of them in the slightest. And honestly, that was where they were most comfortable._

"What do you think the letter said?" James asked Remus.

"I don't know, he didn't want me to see it. I only did because I was at breakfast with him on Saturday when he opened it, when Peter was sleeping in and you were arguing with McLaggen over something dumb and Qudditch related. He stashed it in his bag almost straight away. But I can't imagine it would be anything too complementary, do you?"

James swallowed.

"So, what do we do?"

"I don't know," Remus said thoughtfully. "I mean, knowing Sirius, he'll bite our heads of if we say anything-."

"But he's just being a git, we'll talk to him like we always do-"

"James," Remus sighed patiently. "We can't just keep sweeping things under the carpet here, Sirius is really hurting, he's not just 'in a mood' or whatever-."

"Who's sweeping? I'm not sweeping. I'm just saying that, well, it- it's Sirius! He'll come around."

"For God's sake James, he's upset! And he has every right to be!"

"I know."

"If I thought we could leave him alone without him doing anything stupid, I would, but after last night-."

"I know!" James exploded. "Stop acting like I don't know any of this! Stop acting like I'm an idiot!"

"I never called you that! But you keep on denying that there's actually a problem! Whenever you start to feel things, you just shut everybody out and come out with some stupid line to make everyone else think you're okay!"

"_Why does every single stupid, fucking word that comes out your mouth have to be some bullshit line!? Why can't you just say real _things_!?"_

"Shut the fuck up, Remus," James snapped.

Remus blinked. "Prongs, I didn't mean-."

"Look, I don't care. I don't want to hear whatever shit you're about to say about me. No matter what you think or feel about Sirius, it does not give you the right to psychoanalyse your friends. So, whatever else you were about to say, save it. Okay?"

Remus, looking astounded, nodded twice.

"Fantastic. I'm going for a walk." James grabbed his scarf from where it was draped over the bedpost, wrapped it hastily around his neck, and stormed out of the boys' dorm.

"Hey Prongs!" Called out Peter when he entered the common room. "Wanna watch me beat Thomas in Wizard's Chess for the third time in a row?"

"You know what, Peter? I'm really not in the mood," James brushed him off. His somewhat dramatic exit into the corridor was cut short when he nearly bowled over a tall, black girl who was standing in his path.

"Er, sorry," he muttered, trying to push past her.

"Don't be," she said, sounding breathless and urgent. "I needed to talk to you."

Confused, James looked up at the girl. Standing in front of him, looking slightly uncertain, was Debbie Johnson.

"Oh, hey Debbie. What's up?"

"Um," Debbie said, looking pointedly at the Fat Lady, who was very unsubtly trying to eavesdrop. "Should we go down the hall a bit?"

"Yeah, good point." So together they walked, ignoring the Fat Lady as she hurled her abuse.

"Honestly! I have to stand here all day, the least you could do is give me some decent gossip to keep me going-!"

"So, what do you want?" Asked James.

"I need to ask you," Debbie said, nervously playing with her hair. "Have you- have you told anyone about last night?"

"What about last night? Oh," he remembered as Debbie looked at him incredulously. "No. No, I haven't."

"Oh thank Merlin," she breathed. "Please, I need you to keep that to yourself. Please, I'm begging you, you can't-."

"Debbie," James interjected, "I'm not going to tell anyone. I wouldn't do that."

Debbie studied his face. "You wouldn't, would you?" She said curiously. "That's strange."

"Why are you so surprised that I'm acting like a decent human being?"

"Oh, no," Debbie said quickly, "I didn't mean that. It's just that, well, when you've been friends with Lily for so long-"

"You get used to thinking the worst of me," James finished dryly. "I get it."

"No," Debbie said with an unexpected level of fierceness. "She doesn't think the worst of you. I mean, maybe she does, but that's a reflection of Severus' influence, it's not about her or you. Well, not the way you are now. You were a bit of a git before. But you're better now. I think."

"Um." James was unsure what to do with this information. "Okay."

"So, you're definitely not going to tell anyone?" She asked.

"Definitely not."

"Good. Thank you," she smiled, then frowned. "My parents know- about me and Annalise- but no one at the school does yet. And I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"Debbie, you- and I'm still not going to tell anyone or anything- but you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure-."

"Believe me, I know I have nothing to be ashamed of. There's a lot more at stake here than just self-confidence. How do you think the school would react if they found out two of their female students were dating?"

James blinked. "Deb, the school isn't going to care if you and… Annalise are gay."

"Actually, Anna's bisexual," Debbie corrected. "And James, I'm sorry, but you're deluded. If wizards were as accepting as you think they are, don't you think Dumbledore would have properly come out by now?"

"Dumbledore's gay?"

"Merlin," Debbie sighed, "straight boys are so blind. But that's not the point. I hate to break it to you, James, but the world isn't as accepting as you might think. But then again, how would you know, right? You're a pureblood heterosexual male wizard. It's not your fault," she said quickly, as James began to protest, "it's just the way it is. But anyway. Thank you for not telling."

"You're- you're welcome."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I promised Mary I'd try to bring her something from Professor Slughorn's office for her hangover."

James stepped to the side to let her pass.

"Oh, and just so you know, I'll put in a good word for you to Lily," she added slyly, as she brushed past him.

"I didn't ask for that," James said, taken aback.

"Oh, I know. But you thought about it."

"Um, I- I," James stuttered.

"Goodbye, Potter!" Debbie giggled, giving him one final wave as she turned the corner, leaving James with his mouth wide open, staring dumbly at the spot where she had last been.

**_A/N: Looks like the tension between James and Remus is getting a little bit more serious. And what did you guys think of Debbie? I really enjoyed getting to write her character, let me know what you think of her and I'll decide how involved I want to make her in the rest of the story! Reviews make Jily happen faster._**


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